Introductions
by Unjax
Summary: Oscar falls in love with Ruby Rose when he meets her. This is weird, because there is an old man in his head. Qrow does not approve. Ozpin does not approve. Ruby, however, doesn't seem to mind.


"Are you sure they'll believe me?"

 _Qrow and I have known each other a long time. Just mention the Vytal Festival dance from his graduating year._

Oscar grumbled, but kept walking. It had taken weeks for him to get to Mystral, at the behest of the crazy old man inside his head. He had gone six days without eating fresh eggs. _Six days_. It was unbearable. He just wanted to go home and tend his crops.

He finally saw them as he walked down the hospital wing. There were three of them, two gathered around who must have been Qrow with bandages around his otherwise bare torso. The girl was all hearts and bubbling energy, with a hammer that looked liable to take down half the hospital wing. If Ozpin was right, it well could. Lie Ren was more stoic, arms crossed and silent. Ozpin had neglected to mention that he looked exactly like a ninja. He probably fought like a ninja too.

"He's teaching me to fight." Oscar decided. He heard Ozpin's mental sigh.

 _Once again, you can't be involved in any fighting for at least three years. If our souls don't bond properly, then the cycle will be broken and you and I can never inhabit another form._

"Yeah, because it would be such a horrible thing if you could never be inside another little boy."

 _I really wish you'd stop making that joke._

Oscar walked up to the bed, and everyone turned to him. "Who are you?" Qrow asked, his gravelly voice scratching against an obviously parched throat.

"Remember the Vytal Festival ball in your last year?"

 _You could have said hello._ Ozpin sighed inside his mind.

Qrow blinked. "There was a nice way to do that."

"What happened at the ball?" Nora asked. Oscar mentally relayed the question. A moment later, he turned pale as a ghost.

"Nope."

"What happened?!" Nora just seemed invigorated by the challenge. "Also, who are you?"

"I'm Oscar." He decided he might be able to distract her. "Who are you?"

"Iiiiiiiiiii'm Nora!" She exclaimed with a cute little flourish, throwing her hands up and twirling. Oscar didn't miss Ren's small smile.

"But you're not _just_ Oscar, are you?" Qrow's question wasn't much of a question.

"Yeah, the old man is sharing my skull."

"Old man?" Nora asked.

"Ozpin," Qrow replied.

"What?" Both Nora and Ren this time.

"I brought coffee!" A new voice interrupted.

Oscar turned to face the newcomer, and stood stock still. She was beautiful and cute, about his age, with short hair swept across her brow and dyed red near the tip. She was wearing a plain white tee and jeans, but the casual look just made her smile more brilliant.

"Hi! I'm Ruby! Ruby Rose!" She said with a smile, sticking her hand out.

"Ruby Rose… You, uh, you have silver eyes." He was a little bit dumbstruck, getting lost in the pools of her gleaming eyes. Remembering that she had offered to shake hands, Oscar turned a little red and reached out and grasped it, shaking it a few times too many before remembering that handshakes were made to end.

"Um, Oz…" Qrow's brow had a deep furrow in it. "Stay away from my niece."

"Oz?" Ruby tilted her head at him.

"Oscar," He said.

 _She's really cute._ He said to Oz. He felt the other mind's mental backlash.

 _She's a child!_

 _So am I!_

"EVERYONE HOLD ON." Nora yelled, hammer in hand like a giant gavel. Nobody was moving without her say so. She pointed it at him and Oscar shrank away.

"Help?" Oscar yelped.

"You can have my coffee if you want?" Ruby offered. Nora gave the other girl a weird look.

"Why would coffee help?"

"I don't know… Maybe he could use it to run really fast away from you?" Nora's eyes brightened and a maniacal grin spread across her face.

"Like a game of cat and mouse." Oscar suddenly felt very uncomfortable. "Give him the coffee."

"I don't think I want a coffee."

"Here," Ruby offered it with a smile. Rendered a little stupid again, Oscar took it, flashing Ruby a timid grin. Her cheeks flushed.

 _I want you to know this is exceedingly uncomfortable for me. I taught her parents… I taught_ her _._

Oscar ignored the little voice in his head.

 _I'm not little._

Oscar ignored the big, masculine, strong, omnipresent voice in his head.

 _Don't patronize me._

"Drink," Nora commanded. Oscar looked around for anyone's help. His gaze fell on Qrow, who just chuckled.

"Remember that time you brought up the ball? Payback's a bitch." Groaning, Oscar took a deep sip.

"You know that it takes about an hour for the caffeine to be fully effectual." Ren noted, putting a hand on Nora's shoulder. She slumped a little.

"Aww… Oh wait!" She perked up again. "That means you'll have time to tell us about Ozpin!"

"I… um. Well, one day I was working on my farm and he just kind of showed up."

"Showed up? He's alive?" Ruby inquired.

"He's more like a really annoying ghost that half possessed me, made me uproot my entire life, lie to my mom, and says really cryptic things rather than answering any questions I have."

"Yeah, that sound like good 'ol Ozzy-man." Qrow chuckled. Oscar heard a mental sigh, but decided not to relay the message.

"Also, he said that Ren should teach me how to fight."

 _I did not say that._

"He was really adamant about it."

"Why me?" Ren sounded confused.

"Because you're totally a ninja." Ruby chimed in.

"That's _exactly_ why!" Oscar smiled.

 _You are not learning how to fight._

 _Yes I am!_

 _Don't make me possess this body and turn it around young man._

 _Turn it around where? YOU told me to come this way._

There was mental silence for a moment as Ozpin thought.

 _Life is a journey, a path we walk. For now, we walk forward._

Oscar sighed. It didn't even _mean_ anything.

 _Go put some high heels on._ He told his elderly roommate.

 _I really wish you didn't remember some of my dreams. And I'm not_ _ **that**_ _old._

"Thanks for the coffee." Oscar said to Ruby.

"No problem!" She beamed.

"Maybe sometime I can buy you one to pay you back?"

 _Don't you think there are more pressing matters?_ Ozpin's voice - Was it a voice? Or a thought? - whatever it was, it was stern. _Like why my most trusted advisor is in a hospital?_

 _Nothing is more important than love._

 _Saving the world might be._ Ozpin probably meant to keep that one to himself.

 _Love is the most pure emotion. It fends off the Grimm and allows for the propagation of human life. Also… Look at her. Can you imagine kissing those lips?_

Ozpin's fury manifested itself as a sharp pain in his head.

 _ **YOU'RE NOT THINKING ABOUT HAVING SEX WITH MY OLD STUDENT.**_

"Well maybe I am." He grumbled, wincing at the sharp headache.

"You're what?" Ruby asked, concerned now.

Oscar flushed a shade of red deeper than Ruby's cloak.

"Oz, once I get better, I'm killing you."

"Please stop calling me Oz. Besides, he said it's not weird."

 _ **It is very, very weird. Stop this at once.**_

"I'm supposed to live my life normally, but use him as a resource. Besides, he's not even around most of the time." Oscar lied, right through his teeth.

 _ **I share your dreams and every waking moment you have. It most certainly will be very, very weird.**_

"What is everyone talking about?" Ruby was very cute when confused.

"I think Oscar has a crush on you."

"Nora!" He exclaimed. "Please!"

"Oh… Well he's kind of cute." Ruby muttered. Everyone stared. "Did I say that out loud?" No one answered. Oscar was smiling like an idiot. "I just mean, like, look at his dimples."

"Ruby," Qrow's voice was deadly quiet. "I don't think anyone is judging your taste in his physical features, and I'm sure he's quite a nice young boy, I think everyone just feels like it's a little weird that your old headmaster, my boss, who taught you and your parents, is inside of his head."

"Oh," Ruby said. Dejected, Oscar hung his head. "Well… He was kind of cute too."

Oscar perked up.

 _ **NONE OF THIS IS OKAY.**_ Came a thundering boom in his mind.

"Someone unhook me from these machines so I can die. Preferably now." Qrow grumbled from his bed, reaching over and upping his morphine dosage.

"I'd love to get that coffee with you." Ruby said with a timid smile. Oscar straightened his back.

 _Say no._ Oz insisted.

"How about tomorrow?"

 _Stop, please._

"There is no was that Ozpin can be on board with this." Qrow seethed.

"He said that it is not his duty to interfere with the affairs of mortals." It seemed something suitably Ozpin-like to say.

 _I did not_.

"He did not." Qrow narrowed his eyes. Oscar wasn't sure if it was the narcotics or anger. "And I happen to know that peak caffeine consumption happens after an hour, but the first effects are apparent after a few minutes. Nora?" Okay, definitely anger.

"Yes?" The pink girl had a grin a mile wide.

"I think it's time for your cat and mouse game." Qrow mumbled, before the morphine took its toll and he passed out.

Oscar yelped.

Nora grinned and tightened her grip on her hammer.

"Running time?" Ruby offered, taking his hand.

"Running time." Oscar confirmed and they disappeared in a flash of red petals.

"YOU CAN RUN BUT YOU CAN'T HIDE." Nora shouted before taking off after them.

 _a/n_

 _Three chapters? I'm thinking three chapters. Shoutout to_ /u/ _AOF_Semiramis of reddit for the idea. All credit to him/her._

 _Hope you enjoyed._

 _Cheers,_

 _Unjax_


End file.
